@molecular I agree the ad hominems are not helpful.
In general, I think people on both sides of the debate are well intentioned, and want bitcoin to succeed.
I think some people simply have a mistaken idea of how changes to Bitcoin can and should happen. They believe that the overall system can be designed to behave in a certain manner based on code implemented in the reference software. They treat it as a monolithic system which can be designed by tweaking certain parameters. According to this view, the survival of the system depends critically on design decisions made by Bitcoin Core, and thus they need to cautiously vet any important changes and come to broad consensus among the developers.
In reality though, people will walk with their feet. A node operator can run any software they want, and interact with the network however they choose. A miner can put any transactions they want into blocks, and produce blocks of whatever size they choose. Whether or not all these individual behaviours will interact together smoothly is an emergent property of the system that can be assessed by looking at the individual incentives facing all the participants in the system.
The fact that these individual incentives can all come together to produce a stable and valuable system is one of the things that makes Bitcoin so interesting, in my opinion. We can call it a Nash equilibrium, anti-fragility, or emergent properties of a complex adaptive system. But either way it's the thing that, if it works, will allow Bitcoin to grow and prosper in the future in ways that we probably can't even imagine. In fact, if Bitcoin could be designed by a central committee, I think it would be doomed to eventual failure. So although the current turmoil seems messy, it is a necessary maturing process for the ecosystem and should inspire hope for the future.